It’s a rare case when a band drops an album that you can instantly tell will be a classic for years to come. However, that’s exactly the case with the late September release of “Alt. Account”, by Toledo-based emo-pop band Equipment. “Alt. Account” is a fiercely sincere, incredibly relatable, and genuinely moving album start to finish, and a serious display of talent all the way through.
The album uses an incredibly unique framing device to convey its themes – samples taken from lead singer Nick Zander’s old YouTube gaming channel. This choice is one I consider risky – including a sample like this could, in another context, come across as immature or lighthearted in a way that undermines the themes of the album. However, Equipment handles these samples with so much love, and uses them in such an inspired way, that they are what tie the album together.
The first of these samples is what starts the album off – taken from a video of Zander playing MarioKart – has him telling us that “Sometimes, this game gets… frustrating.” This is the intro to the first track, “Hot, Young Doctors” – a track rife with insecurity. Singing to his partner, Zander spends the track worrying about his own perceived inadequacy. We are immediately introduced, through an infectious hook, to the themes of the album: Alt. Account is all about navigating growing up at a pace that doesn’t quite feel right, and the relationships you have while doing so. Lines like “You walk through the front door smiling/at the manchild in your kitchen” set this up perfectly – the use of “manchild” shows us within the first two minutes of the album that Zander doesn’t feel he’s been acting his age. With these themes so well-established, the rest of the album does a wonderful job of expanding them.
The next song, “LO/FO” – which was the second of three lead singles, and a fan favorite thanks in part to its incredibly fun music video – expands on this theme of inadequacy in an unexpected way. After the last song was spent worrying about and blaming himself, “LO/FO” takes the opposite approach – an anthem dedicated to telling off the people making you feel inadequate. The bouncy guitar and snappy drums give the whole song a sense of fun, really creating the feeling of gratification one would get from this. The hook of “How often do you disinfect your phone” is bound to stay in your head for days after you hear it.
If, by the end of “LO/FO”, you are still unsure what the album is about, “Hollister Henleys” is about to make it very clear. From the very first lines, “I have a tendency to treat everyone like they’re older than me/I swear I was sweating at senior prom last week”, it is abundantly clear that we’re talking about growing up. This is only further made clear by the chorus of the song, just as infectious as the last two, asking, “Does anyone on Earth feel like a human?/I’m stuck in the past while my future is looming.” The song succinctly captures the feeling of feeling like you’re growing up too slow, while things move too fast. With some crowd vocals and some absolutely astounding brass later in the song, “Hollister Henleys” has a point to make and it makes it with fanfare.
After the high energy of the first three songs, “Bad Bets” and “Jewelry” slow things down. Quick, soft drums lead us into the first of these songs, with a soft bassline really helping to set the tone. Lines like “Late bloomers make it eventually/How long can you give me?” from “Bad Bets” quickly established it as a sort of cult-favorite off of the album, while the more straightforward storytelling of “Jewelry”, which describes one singular night in detail, is strikingly resonant.
This break in energy doesn’t last long, however, as “Minnow” and “Username” are the next two tracks. “Minnow” is a high-energy jam detailing the singer’s struggles to fit in, and more importantly, their struggles with burnout and a feeling of being overwhelmed. To make this clear, the song ends with the repeated lines “I get overwhelmed as it is/I get overwhelmed quite enough/I get overwhelmed everyday/I feel comfortable once a month.” These lines are repeated along with the overlapping repetition of the hook – a duet that adds to the sense of being overwhelmed, as the two vocal tracks seem to compete in an attempt to drown each other out.
“Username” begins my personal favorite stretch of the album, the first of the final 3 tracks. A raucous intro is cut to quiet as the vocals come in, delivering a lyrically intimate breakup song. An insanely catchy drumline leads us through the song, with an equally catchy hook punctuating the louder parts. The song grows in volume and passion, until by the end of the song, Zander is practically screaming lines like “When I brushed my hands across your back so that you could fall asleep/Anyone could tell I did that ‘cause it equally helped me/Oh I got lost!”. This screamed admission is juxtaposed with an immediate switch back to a quieter sound, with just vocals and an acoustic guitar, giving a sense of clarity following the burst of passion that speaks a lot of truth to the experience of a breakup.
If “Username” is a song that seems to put a lot of blame on the singer for the way the relationship went, “Your Clothes Without You In Them”, the following track, looks more at the actions of the other person after the relationship. A slow confessional, with a lingering guitar and bass and a slowly trudging drum, details the time spent after a relationship, and the singer’s inability to fully move on – particularly after seeing the other person in public. This continues for the first two thirds of the song, before a realization cuts through the hazy pace – much louder and faster instrumentals accompany the realization that, “If you wanted to say something to me/You would have/You would have/Right there and then”. Finally, the singer is recognizing that some things are in the past for a reason, and a real sense of closure is gained.
When it comes to closure, however, “Perfect Temperature Coffee” is a masterclass, serving to bring the themes of the album full-circle in a jaw dropping way, and cementing the album as an instant classic. The song details the life of some small creature – small to show their perceived insignificance, and the insignificance of their mistakes. The song is spent reassuring the creature, the listener, and presumably the past Zander. The instrumental is bouncy and lighthearted, with new elements like synth and guitar solos giving it a different vibe to the rest of the album, a testament to the growth and new outlook we’ve seen gained throughout the previous tracks. The final lyrics, “You’ve got this/Oh you’re ready” seem to be talking directly to Zander’s younger self and the listener – and, again using samples from his old YouTube channel, the younger Zander is able to respond, reassuring his present self that, “You will be remembered, and we all love you.” It is this exchange and the other like it throughout the album that make this a truly one-of-a-kind work. The sense that the singer is able to talk to his younger self, and have his younger self talk back, truly adds a level of depth to the themes of the album, and the conclusion, of them talking to and reassuring one another, is the perfect ending to an album so focused on the transition between one’s younger self and their more fully-formed adult self.
“Alt. Account” serves as a semi-concept album, with incredibly concentrated and beautifully articulated themes, proving to be a beautiful testament to the scary ordeal of growing up. The album’s depiction of both internal and external struggles, struggles of identity and relationships, and of finding your place, is intensely real in a way that many albums could only aspire to. Every song gives each musician in Equipment a new way to showcase their talents, keeping the sound cohesive without ever feeling too repetitive. An instant classic that is able to stand above many of its peers in a year choc-full of incredible releases, “Alt. Account” is an album that it would be impossible not to relate to on some level, and a definite must-listen.
Nick Zander – Guitar, lead vocals, keys, synths, samples
Jacob Scott – Bass, vocals
Jake Pachasa – Drums Tori Scott – Vocals on tracks 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9 Dondré Cook – Trumpet on track 3
Patrick Dillinger – Trombone on track 3
Christopher Jeffer – Double bass on track 4
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